Ele

Well, hello, nice to see you here.
My friending policy is fairly simple; comment to say 'Hi' and add me, and I will (probably) add you back. Most of my journal entries are public anyway. The private/friends only ones are that way for a reason.

*smiles and looks forward to meeting some new people*


Up coming concerts:
Soundwave - Feb 2010 (Melbourne Showgrounds)
Currently Reading:
Crimes Against Humanity by Geoffrey Robertson
Tunnel Vision by Sara Paretsky

I came back to blog, and LJ asked me if I wanted to restore from a saved draft. You want to know what I had written? Well: "I am having to resort to eating chocolate chips because we have no chocolate in the house."

Deep, y'all.

So, I am back! Hopefully! And wow has life moved on (for the most part).

Weee for dot points!

- Have been working for Boomtown Records for nearly three months! Tis very exciting, and amazing, and fills my week with squee.

- Have a desperate crush on my boss at Boomtown. He's only 24! ... But owns the whole label. What are the ethics of workplace romances?

- Have just come back from LA where I was visiting my ill and elderly grandfather for Thanksgiving. It was lovely to see cousins and relatives too (who otherwise live all over the world). Also met Gerard Way at an Umbrella Academy signing on Melrose Ave. Even more squee!

- Have taken up the cello. I needed more music in my life since a disasterous episode with an ex-bass guitar teacher (he was a dick, what can I say?).

- Am getting into comics. Dude! Why did no one tell me about them before? Although, I suppose private upper-middle class Anglican all girls schools don't really help in that department.

- Am heavily involved in the university theatre life. Am working towards being a paid techie for them. Which would just be all kinds of awesome.

- The CFS is under control (ish) with the help of meds.

- It's summer! And you know what that means? Festivals! Four booked in so far; Pyramid Rock New Years (at which three of my bands are playing), BDO (at which one of my bands are playing), Soundwave (which has just a fucking AMAZING line up that it doesn't matter that none of my bands are playing), and Push Over which I get free tickets to because I know the (amazing, lovely) organiser. Also! The beach!

- Uni went okay, for the most part. It seems like a rather necessary evil at this point. Love the subjects, don't really like the... vibe?

- Have stopped seeing my counsellor because things are GOOD in my head. Which is LOVELY.

- Have taught myself to juggle via help from friends at my juggling club. Yay! for useless but cool talents!

Please! Comment! Tell me what you are doing and how you are! I have lots to catch up on!

PS. What is this with people in bandom having babies? Bronx Mowgli Wentz, what?

I'm sorry for my last post, it was a bad night and writing it all out was better than having it stew as it usually does.

I'm feeling better, still a little emotionally fragile, but much better than then.

But that may, however, be the hangover from drinking too much at my friend's party last night.

So much love to you all.
xo

I had my one and only exam on Friday morning, and it went really well. I wrote two short essays on the policy implications of happiness (what policies governments can make to maximise the happiness of their population) and our duties of global justice (why we should help developing countries through institutions like the UN and trade rather than just giving them aid), and then three short answer questions on the role of externalities in the market (how the market can be held responsible for positive or negative effects it has on the wider world ie. pollution), the privileged role of business in government (tax breaks, subsidies and why governments have to give them as incentives to businessmen) and how liberty impacts on patterns of distribution (how progressive taxation ie. taxing the rich's income to give to the poor, encroaches on the liberty of the rich). Because of my cfs I had rest breaks, fifteen minutes per hour of the exam. Therefore half an hour of rest because it was a two hour exam. But, the head first aid lady at the exam was under some amazing belief that even if you get rest breaks you still have to finish at the same time as everyone else. The catch being that she didn't tell me this until the end of my second break. So suddenly my two hour exam has turned into an hour and a half exam, thus completely negating the point of having breaks! I told her that was stupid and she consented and let me make up my break time with extra writing time. Silly lady.

I have signed up to do another production at uni. I will be assistant stage manager for a semi professional production of "The Zombie State". It is a play about how today's excessive work load/hours turns everyone into zombies and how they all try to eat each other and end up in hell. Well, it's going to be interesting, I'll say that much. Because it is winter break at the moment we are having a two week intensive; 10-5 Mon-Fri. What on earth have I got myself into?

But it is nice to have something planned. Because I can't realistically work and do uni I wouldn't otherwise have any plans. Well, I have many many plans to meet up with various friends for various meals and art shows, but I like being productive and working towards things. So meeting up with friends is all very well but I still don't feel I'm achieving anything. Which is why at some point today I WILL get up the guts to ring that guy who offered me an intern placement at his record label. I've sent him two emails and he hasn't responded. So, I WILL ring him I tell you, I WILL. (I actually have some ideas that I think he should think about and I will offer to help him with.)

And, did you know that in Australia if you spend over $1500 on prescription medications within a year the government will pick up the rest of the tab so that you and everyone on your government Medicare card get prescription medications for free for the rest of the tax year? That's fantastic! I had no idea until Mum told me I should go to our local pharmacy and ask for a backlist of all the medications I've bought. I mean, my meds aren't expensive; $17 for 10 days as well as a separate course of antibiotics and low blood pressure medications, but it does add up. Yet another reason why I am glad I don't live in the states; a decent public health system!

♥

It has been quite a while since I wrote in here, and for that I apologise, things have been going on, as they ever do.

Univeristy is okay, overall. I've ended up loving all my subjects, but I think that was only because, of the two subjects I liked least, I was able to write really interesting essays for both.

I was also involved in a highly successful stage play of "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street", as stage manager, through a student run university theatre group, which went INCREDIBLY well, if I do say so myself. And I am so proud of how well I went in particular. Which is one of those things that you're not really supposed to say. But in this case. Well. I was awesome. The whole cast and crew did a fantastic job, I ended up with a sizeable crush on the director, and even though it was a student production put on for seven shows in a theatre on campus, we made nearly $4,500 profit.

The next two weeks consist of studying for my only exam (an interesting subject that is a mix of politics, philosophy and economics (don't ask, it's a mess for the most part)) and trying not to go out too frequently.

Having CFS sucks, as does being on medications, especially when the meds have dodgy side effects.

The following meme has been passed around, I have to give the blame to both Mandie and Anarae for giving me the idea of filling it out. I admire anyone who actually reads my rather long winded answers.

And, so, yes. I hope you are all well. ♥

( A little (or a lot) about me. )

So, for my creative writing class I have been writing various bits and pieces. But I finished this one, and wanted to know what you guys thought of it. It's about That Boy that I met in Chicago.

( A story of fate and young love. )

In reading through some old pieces of writing I came across this. It's something that I wrote a long time ago, I don't remember the context, or what prompted it, but it still resonates in some way.


"A slight pang, a soft touch, a sigh, a whisper, a broken heart, a heart that’s never loved. A missed chance, a wrong choice, a memory that hurts, a hurt that makes a memory. A ring on a finger, a ring on a thumb, silver that leaves a mark, and a tragic event that doesn’t. Wanting to believe but not knowing in what. Having your beliefs tested, being proven wrong, fighting anyway."



Fighting anyway.
What a nice thought... Fighting anyway...
What are you fighting for?

♥

This is usually the time of day when I hit a brick wall and have to go have a nap so as to be functionable at all later on (5pm). But I have to catch a train in forty mintues, which does not take into account the ten to fifteen minute walk to the station, so I don't have time for a nap. Which kind of sucks. Tonight I am doing sound for "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" and then supposedly going out for drinks with some friends from juggling club. But I have the horrible suspicion I will just come back home after the play and go to bed. I dunno, the fatigue is going okay, I no longer have to spend whole days in bed, but I'm only really functionable for about ten hours a day (not including my one hour nap in the afternoon).

I'm trying, and failing, to write a story about the guy I kind of fell in love with in Chicago. I have to write a 1,500 word piece based off a memory or observation for my Creative Writing subject at uni, but I'm worried this piece isn't actually working as a story for itself, more just I feel like I should write something about it for me. I don't know. I may be asking for volunteers to read through it next week if it actually progresses at all (Mandie?).

The Boy is ignoring me, which isn't great for one's self esteem. But I have had some flattering offers from some other people, so if nothing with said boy progresses over the next week, then tough luck for him I suppose.

I have decided I am going to buy myself another tattoo for my birthday. I think I'm going to get a eucalyptus flower like one of these down the inside of my ankle onto my foot. But given November is a long way off ideas may change between now and then.

Finally, I have given up alcohol, mainly for health reasons. Please inform me of your displeasure if I talk about me drinking on here.
♥

I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, merely been doing things. Which is, I suppose, a good thing. But I just feel as though I have nothing to say on here anymore. Which is odd.

Despite previous misgivings I have given into the temptation and bought tickets to the Panic at the Disco, The Academy Is... and Cobra Starship concert later in the year. I have neither the new Panic album, nor the new Cobra album, nor, for that matter, the desire to buy either. Well, we shall see...

I have been getting into my university theatre scene and am very excited about it. I will be stage managing "Sweeney Todd" in May, as well as doing sound for "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" next week.

After going in to talk to a tutor about an essay and being told my essay structure was pretty shit, I have spent the last four days rewriting it. But it is finished, and handed in, and I hate it, but it is done! Go team Ele!

I have finally gotten over a two week long cold.

Have started seeing a counsellor again, which has been helping muchly.

I'm writing again, but all for my creative writing class, so sadly no fanfic. But I might post a poem up here once I've finished it.

And that is all for now. As far as I can remember.
I hope you are all well.

Things have been happening over this side, as they ever do.

Firstly I chose Candidate C. And I think I've fallen for him already. We are both very private people who pretend to be more open than we are, and yet we can both read each other like books. I've never before met someone who can call me on what I'm not saying as much as what I am saying. And it both terrifies and excites me, consequently, I can't stop thinking about him.

Uni is stifling after last year. I've made a couple of friends, and enjoy most of my subjects. But I just find the atmosphere of the place so artificial and contrived. It is, practically, the most prestigious university in Australia, and yet there are so many people there who have no idea how the world works - they're these little ideological naive students who appear to have never lived in the world outside of their insular bubble. And, christ, I know how judgmental and hypocritical that sounds, but I just...

Last week I was really very ill. My fatigue was bad, and I spent two days in bed. It was starting to go to my head, so I decided to go and talk to one of the uni counsellors. She pointed out how the discrepancy between my health last year and this year don't really make sense. She asked whether it might be my mental health impinging on my physical health - whether I'm actually not happy where I am right now and whether that might be emphasizing my preexisting condition.
And I think she's right.

It's really odd how you can be happy with your life on a small scale and unhappy with your life on the larger scale. While I am home, can spend time with friends I couldn't see for nine months, am enjoying some of my subjects, and may be falling in love, this is not where I want to be.
So the next choice is where do I want to be? And how do I get there?

Talking about going places; I'm going away for Easter with my family, and then away on juggling club camp. So I won't be around for a while. But I'll be thinking of you guys, so take care.
♥

How the FUCK is it still 40 degrees (that's over 100, guys) halfway through MARCH? This DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. IT'S AUTUMN, NOT SUMMER, STOP IT!

Four things:

1. Looks like I'm relapsing. My health is deteriorating again. Am spending too many spoons.

2. My Great Aunt died last week. She refused to let people look after her when she was really far beyond looking after herself. It looked as though she hadn't bathed properly since before New Years and died partly of starvation.

3. Have been assigned a Disability Liaison Officer for university. They can rearrange classes, extend due dates and organise alternate exam arrangements for me. Let us hope that is enough; uni looks as though it will be fun, and I don't want to have to give that up.

4. Music. As always.

Last night I went to see The Vagina Monologues with steppi. And it was fascinating. For those of you who don't know what the Vagina Monolgoes are, they are a set of stories about women written by Eve Ensler covering the issues of sexuality, love, life, sex and vaginas. Its point is to raise awareness about the issues that surround women, the main one being; violence against women. The monologues included one about giving birth, one about periods, one about rape, and a stunning one about being a transvestite performed by five transvestites called "They Beat the Girl out of My Boy".

As I was saying to acroamatica a couple of days ago, I never really think of myself as being female. I am who I am, and while sometimes I hate how much stronger guys are than me, I never really think of them as being any different to me. But I suppose we are.

On Tuesday I went out to the main teenager hangout a suburb along from mine to celebrate a friend's birthday and had a horrible time. Please, remind me never to go there again. It was full of the kind of girl I hated in high school. It just makes me feel so inadequate that I don't wear that type of clothing, or bother straightening my hair and putting on a face full of make up. But I'm not inadequate! I swear I'm not! And there are so many nicer bars in the city! If I ever mention The Hawthorn, The Glenferrie or Nevermind again, slap me.

I am, however, going out again tonight to exactly the kind of bar I love in the city. Hip without trying too hard, full of little (and not so little) punk boys with tattoos, and good music playing.

I have also been hit over the head with a new tattoo idea, and want to go out and get it right now. But I won't, because I'm sensible.
Last weekend I was in the city and a lady in front of me had little bows on the back of her lower leg; just at the top of her Achilles tendon. I want to get a pair of those big headphones, like the ones DJs wear? In the same place. Just, yes.

Finally, I am going to plug The Getaway Plan - Other Voices, Other Rooms. They are a small Australian band who I think are wonderful. And, hey! Free music!

I know that many of you here are neither Australian nor in Australia. But for those of us who are, today is a historic day, and one on which I am proud to say 'I am Australian.'

The treatment of aboriginals by the settlers of this continent was terrible, humiliating, and shameful. We poisoned them, murdered them, destroyed their culture and languages, and stole their land. But we also stole their children so that they could be brought up in either orphanages or with white families to be taught Christianity and how to act white so that they could integrate into our obviously superior way of life.

Eight years ago I marched with my family in a one million strong, Australia wide reconciliation march that fell on the deaf ears of the previous conservative Howard government. And while John Howard did not attend today's ceremony (despite every other living ex-Prime Minister being in attendance) and the current leader of his party made an incongruous, pathetic speech that entirely missed the point, this was so important to so many people and should have happened a long time ago.

While a simple apology will not heal the wrongs done, nor reconcile those still mourning the loss of family members it is a start. We are admitting to a wrong done, giving us a platform from which we can start to address on going problems among Aboriginal communities.

"Today we honour the Indigenous peoples of this land, the oldest continuing cultures in human history.

We reflect on their past mistreatment.

We reflect in particular on the mistreatment of those who were Stolen Generations – this blemished chapter in our nation’s history.

The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page in Australia’s history by righting the wrongs of the past and so moving forward with confidence to the future.

We apologise for the laws and policies of successive Parliaments and governments that have inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss on these our fellow Australians.

We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.

For the pain, suffering and hurt of these Stolen Generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.

To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.

And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.

We the Parliament of Australia respectfully request that this apology be received in the spirit in which it is offered as part of the healing of the nation.

For the future we take heart; resolving that this new page in the history of our great continent can now be written.

We today take this first step by acknowledging the past and laying claim to a future that embraces all Australians.

A future where this Parliament resolves that the injustices of the past must never, never happen again.

A future where we harness the determination of all Australians, Indigenous and non-Indigenous, to close the gap that lies between us in life expectancy, educational achievement and economic opportunity.

A future where we embrace the possibility of new solutions to enduring problems where old approaches have failed.

A future based on mutual respect, mutual resolve and mutual responsibility.

A future where all Australians, whatever their origins, are truly equal partners, with equal opportunities and with an equal stake in shaping the next chapter in the history of this great country, Australia."
- Kevid Rudd, Australian Prime Minister 2007-

You know what's not cool? A friend cancelling on you for a family reason and then accidentally sending you a text about the club they and the person they meant to send the text to are going to that night. Some people just aren't very clever. Also finding out that old friends don't count you as a friend any more.

But you know what is cool? Realising how lucky you are with your friends and life. On Friday night I went to a picnic at my little sister's school, then went go-karting with my brother and father, and then went out to drinks with two girls I have known (although not always been close to) since I moved to Australia in 1995. That's nearly 13 years! And then although yesterday a friend cancelled on me because she wasn't feeling well (we were planning on going to see a documentary at the Australian Centre for the Moving Image about the development of gay rights in Australia as part of the Midsumma Gay and Lesbian Festival), I ended up going to a free concert in the city with my brother for the launch of a favourite band's first LP (The Getaway Plan). At which I bumped into Jaddan (who manages The Getaway Plan), the guy I'm going to be working for as part of my internship, although he was really busy he sent me a text that night to say it was nice to see me and we should go for drinks again at some point. I then went to two 20th birthday parties, got really very drunk, talked about music a lot, and made friends with a girl called Bronwyn who was dressed as Sid Vicious and was talking about being bi. Which is lovely. :)

Work is also going okay. I've been writing a manual explaining how to do what I've been doing for the past two months, which is 75% finished and 25 pages long. Shit.

And although I'm not always happy (I had a really bad patch last week, it all just hurt), at this point I can appreciate that life is really pretty good. Oh, I'm happy and it's wonderful.

I have also been writing again. I will keep you all posted, but at the moment all I'm going to say is that Patrick and Frank are faeries, Pete is a wizard and Andy is a centaur. Well, obviously. Duh.

Is it healthy to have a job in which you spend half your day on news websites or blogs? No one in my office ever seems to do any work. Given my contract is about to end I'd do their work for them just to have something to spend my time/life on.
Somehow I feel as though they are all going to make more of an impact on the world than I will anyway. Researching the link between occupation and disease seems more important than music. Should you do something you enjoy, or something that will help others, or both? I wish I had twice as many hours in the day as I do (or that I don't have to sleep as much as I do, have booked myself in to see a chronic fatigue specialist.)

Music makes me feel alive, y'know? (And in the immortal *cough* words of Fall Out Boy; And if you say this makes you happy, I'm not the only one lying.) So maybe it could help?

Went to Big Day Out (by far the biggest festival in Australia) on Monday; Something With Numbers, British India, Anti Flag, Mammal, Gyroscope, Hilltop Hoods, Behind Crimson Eyes, Billy Brag, Grinspoon, Arcade Fire, Silverchair, Brand New and Rage Against the Machine. *phew*
It was a fantastic day. Lots of bands, lots of music, lots of lovely people (a couple of assholes, but there always are). Bought a grey Big Day Out '08 t-shirt with ducks on the front.

Thoughts about dating friends? Don't want to lose him as a friend, can't bear the thought of breaking up with him. But if I carry on at this rate I'll be single for life. (Something in me cringes at the thought of dieing alone, or at least dieing before not being alone. Brand New; I realise that everyone who lives will someday die, and die alone.)
Quoting lyrics, pathetic? Y/Y?

<3

This evening I am signed up to do an aquathon. Because I'm mad... But ambitious!
This one is three times a 1.5km run and 250m swim.
I just want to see if I can do it. I don't care where I come, but I want to finish. (I'll get someone to let you all know if I die.)

In other news, I think I have chosen my subjects for my liberal arts degree at university: creative writing, theatre studies, sociology, economics, art history, music history, political science and business management.
Woo.
Uni starts in just over a month and I am kind of looking forward to it, I suppose. In the long term uni is important for job security, but in the short term I could easily go straight into a full time job, and would prefer that than going back to school. If I pulled some strings I'm sure I could end up in the American music industry in the same period of time it would take me to complete this degree, internship or not. I suppose I have these associations between what it was like at high school and the education system. High school in Australia is, in general, better than the stereotypical American clique-y high schools; everyone can, and does, talk to everyone else because classes, subjects and friendship groups are so mixed. I was known, apparently, as 'the cool girl of the uncool group' in my private Anglican all girls 'secondary grammar school' and could and did, accordingly, talk and go out with nearly everyone, but still didn't seem to fit anywhere. I dunno, too something. So the hope is I meet more people like me in Uni, as everyone says I will. But I have a month  of apprehensively waiting for that. *sighs* Grumble grumble. At least I have my health. :p

Happy news or sad news first?

Sad news, then happy news to follow, I recon.

Sad news; as theguernica has already announced, among others, earlier this morning the Australian actor Heath Ledger passed away.  He was found in his Manhattan flat this morning by his housekeeper.  He was an Australian figure head, a quality actor and a lovely bloke.  I met him three years ago at the premier of 'Ned Kelly' and he was nothing but genuine, courteous and lovely.  Fan obituaries are always slightly awkward, but nevertheless RIP Heath Ledger

Happy news; Behind Crimson Eyes, a band I have mentioned several times on here, I first saw in front of twenty people in a dodgy town hall four years ago and were signed to the record label I will be completing my internship at back in 2005, have announced they will be supporting Iron Maiden on their Australian tour.  Hell fucking yes!

I still look up the weather where you are, just to see what kind of day you might be having.

I hope it's a good one, regardless.

*

I've been down at the beach, celebrating summer, I will be in touch with you all.

*

Thinking of you (all).
<3

Dot points are fun!

- Arrived back home at the end of November and things have been up and down since then. Friends are the same and very different at the same time. Close friends have been in relationships for six months and developed drug habits, apparently. Funnily enough it is possible to feel lonelier than ever once you get back home.

- Started doing some computer programming and data entry for mum's work, which is deathly boring, indoors all day, but pays well and is therefore bringing the dream of moving out (and buying a double bass) ever closer.

- My brother has grown 12 centimetres since I've left! 12 CENTIMETRES! (Over 4 and a half inches for those of you playing at home.)

- I have been offered an internship for next year with a Melbourne independent record label; Boomtown Records! I met the founding director, Jaddan, at the album launch for one of Boomtown's bands; Behind Crimson Eyes, in December 2006. Because I used to be fairly active in the scene we used to bump into each other at gigs fairly regularly, so when I got back I emailed him, we met up for drinks, ended up having a heart to heart and clicking like old friends, he took me along to one of his bands' gigs that night and the rest, as the say, is history... Kinda. (This has been really important in making the move back home more easy and less like boxing myself in to my old life.)

- I have enrolled at Melbourne University to do a liberal arts degree. Yeah... Something.

- Took my brother to his first concert; My Chemical Romance, at Rod Laver arena. Oh, good times. (Incidentally, one of Jaddan's bands opened for them and I could see him there standing side stage.)

- I am really quite hot in Melbourne's summer weather at the moment, today is a top of 41 degrees Celcius (about 107 degrees Fahrenheit). Thus we spent the day at our local public outdoor pool.

- The guy I like? Turns out he has a REALLY hot girlfriend. So back to square one on that count.

And, finally, new years resolutions:
- Try the vegan thing.
- Pass all my university subjects.
- Compete in a triathalon.
- Save up for a double bass and start playing music again properly.
- Lean how to fire twirl with a staff.

Happy new year lovelies.
<3

AUSTRALIA HAS A LABOUR GOVERNMENT!
JOHN HOWARD IS NO LONGER OUR PRIME MINISTER!

I can't tell you how happy this makes me, so please excuse the large capslock. *g*

Currently sitting in a hotel room on Highland Ave just up from Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles on the last day of my fabulous around the world trip. This evening I catch a plane home. How very odd.

There are bits and pieces I would like to say, but right now I have to go to breakfast with my grandfather, his wife (it's a long story) and my dad. So I will probably update again this evening from the airport.

I hope you are all doing well, a belated Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it, and much love to you all.
♥